Tag Archives: confusion

It’s Not a Tumor

A while back I promised to post more this year on this website. The website, one of those things that’s supposed to be an author’s connection to readers and the world at large, the one place he’s supposed to go to be seen.

I’ve mostly failed in my endeavor to post more. Partially because I’ve failed to write more like I intended. Oh sure, I’ve done some writing… some outlining… some editing… I joined a new writing group in the place I moved, I’ve started the process of working on a serial project, but none of it has helped to overcome the malaise I feel when I put the pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, depending on my mood).

Hell, Brownies, I’ve even got a few pieces lined up to be released:

  • An episode of The Lift…
  • A flash piece in the Halloween episode of The Wicked Library…
  • Another piece for a Chrstimas thing…
  • A story that may see the light of day in a new thing called Agitate…

So, I’m producing. I’m doing… things. Just… none of it feels like enough. None of it feels good enough, like I’ve lost a step or two. And that’s probably true. When one doesn’t practice one’s art, one starts to lose one’s edge.

It’s not imposter syndrome, as some of my fellow writers are probably thinking. While I certainly don’t think my work is good, or good enough, that’s just my way of always trying to improve. I don’t feel like a fraud, like my work shouldn’t be out there (as a friend likes to say and I don’t necessarily agree with… TWO CAKES), I just don’t see the point.

Like, we write for ourselves, yes, totally. We write because we love it. Again, yes, totally. But we also write because, ultimately, we want to share. Our opinions and our worldviews and we do that through our stories. And if we no longer care to share those stories because we can’t get over the hangups we’ve either been steered into or created, then what are we?

I’m not sure.

But whatever that is, it’s what I am.

To all my creatives doing their thing this weekend (and I know there are a lot of you): get after it.