Like everyone else, I feel compelled to write a recap on my year. I don’t know about them, but it lets me put my year in perspective since it’s over and I don’t have to deal with it anymore. Of course, time rolls on and I’m still dealing with the same shit as I was so and so many days ago, but why fuck up a good reflection with logic and reality?
I’ve chosen the song S.O.B. by Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats as my anthem for the year. While the song lyrics deal with alcoholism, I think the spirit of the song applies to any damn demon a person fights. 2015 was that sort of year for me, fighting personal demons and sour outlooks, and there were a few days where I wrecked the car, so to speak. I’ve managed to walk away from those crashes with a finer appreciation of life, especially my life, and I’ve started a bit of defensive driving. That said, I learned a lot about myself and the insular world in which I live. And by insular, I’m referring to my family, “friends,” and my personal writing community. Not every revelation was a positive one, of course, but information and awareness are welcome. As I’ve always said: I’m an asshole. I used to say it jokingly, believing a bit of self-deprecation is healthy (it sure beats being the overconfident asshole), but after 2015, I know it’s not a joke. I am an asshole, and my kind of assholes are super rare and hopefully one day I’ll find some.
Outwardly, 2015 brought about some pain and heart ache as well. My wife lost her father, my father had a stroke, my mother-in-law had emergency surgery to remove half her stomach, and my grandfather (who just turned 90), was put in hospice over the Christmas holiday, and I had family diagnosed with cancer, which can still go fuck itself and die.
Of course, while struggling with all these personal issues, 2015 was far more tangibly productive than 2014. In hindsight, I worked to avoid my problems, not because I was in a good place and my muse was feeding me bon-bons. The last half quarter of 2015, when the struggle was real, my production about died. I stopped working (and by stopped, my output dropped from thousands of words a day to hundreds) and dealt with shit. I scrapped half a novel, which is bad (and good), and let the website die. I’m still dealing with shit, but I feel better about said shit.
But that’s the point, right? Of life, I mean. To grow. That’s something I believe I did this past year. I either grew as a person or just flat grew up. I’m not sure the vote’s in on which yet. Could be they’re the same, or at least parallel to each other. In that respect, I’m looking forward to 2016 and seeing what it brings.
Now, here’s a little recap of 2015:
- Books Published: 1 (They Are Among Us)
- Short Stories Published: 3 (Dominance, Emotional Eaters, and Boxing Day, with two more written, accepted, and to be published in early 2016)
- Books Read: 13 (this does not include beta read novels for other authors, of which there were several… or the three books I’ve started and not yet finished)
- Movies Watched: 75 (shut up)
I’ll post the books and movies up in a separate post later in the week, once I have more time and the inclination to do so.
Along with those publications, 2015 brought with it other good things. I don’t want to say that it was a shit year all around. A new grandson was born, I secured a new position at my corporate gig, my oldest son made it to be a full-fledged teenager (complete with SARCASM and LAZY modes, plus the bonus ANGST and MELODRAMATIC modes), and my wife’s career seems to be moving forward as well. She’s scheduled to take a trip to Costa Rica for work in mid-February, but that all came about in 2015, so we’ll put it there.
That’s my year in review, without being specific, and I’m going to leave you with a live performance of S.O.B. Goodbye 2015, Hello 2016.