It’s Not a Tumor

A while back I promised to post more this year on this website. The website, one of those things that’s supposed to be an author’s connection to readers and the world at large, the one place he’s supposed to go to be seen.

I’ve mostly failed in my endeavor to post more. Partially because I’ve failed to write more like I intended. Oh sure, I’ve done some writing… some outlining… some editing… I joined a new writing group in the place I moved, I’ve started the process of working on a serial project, but none of it has helped to overcome the malaise I feel when I put the pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, depending on my mood).

Hell, Brownies, I’ve even got a few pieces lined up to be released:

  • An episode of The Lift…
  • A flash piece in the Halloween episode of The Wicked Library…
  • Another piece for a Chrstimas thing…
  • A story that may see the light of day in a new thing called Agitate…

So, I’m producing. I’m doing… things. Just… none of it feels like enough. None of it feels good enough, like I’ve lost a step or two. And that’s probably true. When one doesn’t practice one’s art, one starts to lose one’s edge.

It’s not imposter syndrome, as some of my fellow writers are probably thinking. While I certainly don’t think my work is good, or good enough, that’s just my way of always trying to improve. I don’t feel like a fraud, like my work shouldn’t be out there (as a friend likes to say and I don’t necessarily agree with… TWO CAKES), I just don’t see the point.

Like, we write for ourselves, yes, totally. We write because we love it. Again, yes, totally. But we also write because, ultimately, we want to share. Our opinions and our worldviews and we do that through our stories. And if we no longer care to share those stories because we can’t get over the hangups we’ve either been steered into or created, then what are we?

I’m not sure.

But whatever that is, it’s what I am.

To all my creatives doing their thing this weekend (and I know there are a lot of you): get after it.

One Single Month

It’s been a month since my last post. You know, that one where I ranted for and against gun rights. That one where I stood with one foot on each side of the line.

You know, that one where I said we’d never ever come together to reach a mutually beneficial agreement.

Yeah, that one.

I stand by that post, still, but want to say a few things in follow up.

First off, thanks to those of you that shared the post around to others. It was a difficult post to share. Not just because I filled it with angry expletives, but because it’s a hard place to stand. We’re filled with extremists on both sides (I often go to extremes), and the common sense middle ground is pretty much a no fly zone.

About that, though…

A second thanks to everyone who reached out and had positive and negative things to say. As in, you agreed with some things, disagreed with others, but the bottom line is you started a dialogue with me, or made the offer to talk in the future. It’s what we need to do. It’s what we have to do.

And here’s the “about that” portion… why can’t we extrapolate that to the masses? Don’t get me wrong, I had a few nice messages telling me what a fucking idiot I was (from both sides of this coin, mind you), but nowhere near as many of those as I did people sharing, agreeing, and reaching out in a positive manner.

Just… I don’t know… why can’t we do that on a grander scale?

Anyway, Brownies, that’s all for now.