I was going to post this on my personal Facebook earlier today and realized it was going to run way too long for a that medium. Plus, I had also reached a point (after reading so many other posts and comments) of “No more fucks to give.” That state was short lived, obviously, because here I am. This probably isn’t going to be a popular post, so I guess it’s a good thing I only have like two readers (Hi, Mom! Just kidding, my mom doesn’t read this shit…)
First off, I feel the absolute need to point out that I am not a gun owner, nor am I student of the Constitution, or even the Second Amendment, so all of this is from a layman’s publicly educated point of view. However, thanks to a Christmas mistake, I do have books to read on the subject. At any rate, I should also state that I was an illegal gun owner (a .38 pistol, for the curious) for almost a decade; I am also a grandfather, father, and uncle with kids I love dearly in all level of public education. These are the things that drive me to make this post and, quite probably, piss off every single person I know. Just know that this isn’t aimed at any one of you personally, even though I’m 100% positive I’m going to touch on something you believe and hold to be true and probably disagree with it.
The TL;DR version of this post is as follows: We, as a country, need to pull our collective heads out of our collective asses, quit sending thoughts and prayers to families with dead kids, sharing memes with bullshit statistics, and quit listening to any news media source this country has.
To further define the TL:DR paraphrasing above, I’ll go on record with the following statements, which I’ll explain in greater detail underneath them.
- Fuck your statistics on how many school shootings we’ve had this year… uh, people, 8 or 18 doesn’t matter. 1 school shooting is too fucking many.
- Fuck your antiquated Second Amendment “right to bear arms” bullshit.
- Fuck your “ban all guns” outcry and finally
- Fuck your “arm the teachers” solution
Let’s talk statistics, in so much as what I’ve read and heard so far. “There’s been 18.” “There’s not been 18!” “The US has more school shootings than any other country.” “The US has more, but with less victims, so it’s all even.”
Look, Brownies, it doesn’t matter. Like I said, one is too many, and when we start throwing out research (read: memes) that’s false, it doesn’t help anyone. Not your cause, not the other side’s cause, and certainly not anyone who has been fucking shot to death. Let’s just agree (and if we don’t, you can honestly go get bent so fucking hard you can lick your own asshole) that one of these mass shootings is too many. That should be the basis of this conversation, not whether we’re going to ban all guns, not ban any guns, but “HOLY FUCK, OUR KIDS AND FAMILIES AND COUNTRYMEN ARE GETTING SHOT TO DEATH AT AN UNBELIEVABLE RATE!”
Find the common ground, people, and work from there. Pro Tip: You’re never ever going to find the common ground if you continue watching any mainstream or underground media. It’s all biased in one way or another and every media outlet is going to push someone’s agenda. And guess what, it’s not your agenda, not really. They may coincide for the next five weeks, but not much longer than that.
And no, I don’t have a solution for unbiased news. All you can do is absorb as much as you can, understand it as best that you can, and keep your moral compass straight.
Oh, and here’s the first topic that will get people going. Let me repeat my sentiment for those of you in the back who didn’t hear me the first time. FUCK YOUR ANTIQUATED RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS as it’s “outlined in the Constitution” and is your “God given right.”
First off, no, it’s not your God given right. The text of the Second Amendment, to the best of my Googling ability, does not include the text God or Creator or anything remotely resembling that notion. MEN wrote that Amendment and therefore it’s a right given to you by MEN. MEN who have been dead so fucking long that the world they wrote that amendment for no longer exists. They could not have fathomed this world and therefore could not have written that amendment with this bullshit in mind.
Furthermore, the point of that amendment was so that the states could form militias to rise up against a tyrannical government, should some President (possibly like the one we have now) decide to turn the United States military against the states in the Union. In other words, WE THE PEOPLE would be armed to fight against a rising dictatorship. Now think about that long and hard… are you done? Good.
Brownies, we already live under a tyrannical government. And not one of you motherfuckers have raised your guns and marched on the White House or any government establishment to right the wrongs. This is a country whose politicians (both Republican and Democrat alike) regularly shit on some aspect of its population. Gays, women, blacks, the homeless, the elderly, the young… it doesn’t fucking matter. They’re screwing us all, but, all in all, we don’t give a fuck as long as someone else is getting screwed more, which is invariably the case.
Now, I’m going to go a step further and throw in the Supreme Court decision that the “right to bear arms” is inclusive of self-defense of the home, etc. I agree with that sentiment (hence my illegal ownership of a .38 for a decade or so), and fully support gun ownership for that purpose. But, do you need an AR-15 to do that? Seriously, do you? I get it, man, it’s fucking cool and it looks like a gun from Call of Duty or like the one your broham carried in Afghanistan or whatever (no, I actually don’t give a fuck why you like it), but my personal belief is that it’s unnecessary for anyone to own that weapon beyond one single word, which is “WANT.”
You WANT to own it. You don’t NEED to own it. Because, again, you’ve proven you’re not going to stand up against the tyrannical government and, also, because your AR-15 won’t stand a chance if Uncle Sam puts a goddamn M1-Abrams on Main Street, USA. You’ll be reduced to using sticky bombs made out of fuel oil and tube socks ala Saving Private Ryan.
That brings me to my last point about the Second Amendment and its “right to bear arms” verbiage. Folks, it was written in a time when the government’s weaponry didn’t conceivably outstrip civilian weaponry and when civilians actually supported the governmental military with weaponry and warships and the like.
Now, however, the US government has control of so much shit that even if every citizen owned an AR-15, it would be fruitless. Why? Drones. Fuck, we kill people from around the goddman globe with the push of a single computer button and you think arming yourself with a semi-automatic rifle is going to save the day? Son, that dream is over.
Now I’m gong to address all you “ban all guns” idiots out there. This is the next point that will lose me friends and votes.
As above, let me repeat this for all you people in the back: FUCK BANNING ALL GUNS.
Ain’t never going to happen. It should never happen. Look, no matter how you look at it, no matter how much you wish it weren’t true or how you want to spin it, owning a firearm is a Constitutionally protected right. Not a God given right, but a man-made one, and one that should not be universally revoked. And every time a person (man, woman, or child) is shot, the rhetoric that comes out is just banal. It’s the same shit, over and over again. Get out the pitchforks and the signs and string all them guns up and melt them down into slag. And that’s exactly why the Second Amendment folks pucker their assholes tight.
Look, Brownies, responsible gun owners far outweigh irresponsible gun owners. It’s a fact, and one easily proven, and also one that shouldn’t be overlooked. That responsibility extends to taking all required safety and regulatory classes, proper gun security, and following all the rules and regulations therein. You’re looking to completely remove the rights of an entire culture. It’s not acceptable. It’s not. And you need to quit thinking that it is.
And I refer you back to Point 1 about the media coverage… you don’t hear about John, Dave, Jeff, Jack, Jordan, Kelly, Tommy, Terry, Dave, Jose, Marco, or Cherry unloading their gun, cleaning it, putting it away, and never looking at it again until the next time its schedule for a cleaning because that shit is boring. It doesn’t draw your attention, but it happens far more than someone taking out their gun and shooting someone else.
Guns are tools, albeit a tool with a single purpose, which is to kill. The usual end result of a gun’s use is someone’s death, which is shitty. But I’m here to tell you it’s a necessary shitty. It’s one of those shit sandwiches you have to bite. It’s horrible, I know, so just chew fast and get it out of the way so you can move on to the point where you can discuss better gun control in a manner that’s conducive to solving the issues at hand.
We all have a right to defend our homes with the appropriate firearms, obtained legally, and handled professionally. If you don’t want to exorcise that right, that’s great, we live in a free country that allows that choice. But like any other right, don’t take away someone else’s different, less appealing (in your mind) choice.
Last part and I’ll be out of your hair. I promise.
Arm the teachers? Are you fucking kidding me? I’m going to break my own rule here and quote a meme I saw about not having the budgetary means to provide supplies, but suddenly there’s money for Glocks. I think the sentiment of that meme is sound. School is for kids to learn, to thrive, to think… yet we routinely fuck educational funding in its ass and deprive kids of the necessary tools to compete in this ever-increasing global market.
The second part to the “arm the teachers” debacle is this… do you truly expect a teacher, someone who is constantly engaged with up to 25-30 kids in his/her classroom, to effectively keep an eye on that gun?
“Well, there shouldn’t be that many kids in the class!” Excellent point… but more teachers requires more funding, which we don’t give them, so we have large class sizes.
“Well, the kids would know better than to mess with it.” Right, because how many times have we heard about that parent who doesn’t secure their gun and their kids (mind you, kids here being two or three at the most…) shoot themselves or each other. And we expect a teacher to do better than a responsible, gun owning parent? Imagine the lawsuit against that school district…
“It wouldn’t be kept in the classroom…” Then what fucking good is it? The shooter would have to walk by the room where the guns are stored to be stopped by someone who is armed…
But honestly, more guns in schools is not the answer. Not even remotely close.
Sure, there are other facets to this conversation I could bring up (mental health, more robust background checks, more accurate registration, and stricter rules for private resale, the NRA, being armed deters mass shootings, for example), but I’m tired now.
Bottom line, the answer lies in the one thing we absolutely will not do.
The Second Amendment folks won’t give up anything and the gun control folks won’t stop until all guns are gone. They’re both unrealistic goals and until then we will, collectively, keep paying with our lives, the lives of our children, and the lives of our friends.