Category Archives: Fluff

It’s Not a Tumor

A while back I promised to post more this year on this website. The website, one of those things that’s supposed to be an author’s connection to readers and the world at large, the one place he’s supposed to go to be seen.

I’ve mostly failed in my endeavor to post more. Partially because I’ve failed to write more like I intended. Oh sure, I’ve done some writing… some outlining… some editing… I joined a new writing group in the place I moved, I’ve started the process of working on a serial project, but none of it has helped to overcome the malaise I feel when I put the pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, depending on my mood).

Hell, Brownies, I’ve even got a few pieces lined up to be released:

  • An episode of The Lift…
  • A flash piece in the Halloween episode of The Wicked Library…
  • Another piece for a Chrstimas thing…
  • A story that may see the light of day in a new thing called Agitate…

So, I’m producing. I’m doing… things. Just… none of it feels like enough. None of it feels good enough, like I’ve lost a step or two. And that’s probably true. When one doesn’t practice one’s art, one starts to lose one’s edge.

It’s not imposter syndrome, as some of my fellow writers are probably thinking. While I certainly don’t think my work is good, or good enough, that’s just my way of always trying to improve. I don’t feel like a fraud, like my work shouldn’t be out there (as a friend likes to say and I don’t necessarily agree with… TWO CAKES), I just don’t see the point.

Like, we write for ourselves, yes, totally. We write because we love it. Again, yes, totally. But we also write because, ultimately, we want to share. Our opinions and our worldviews and we do that through our stories. And if we no longer care to share those stories because we can’t get over the hangups we’ve either been steered into or created, then what are we?

I’m not sure.

But whatever that is, it’s what I am.

To all my creatives doing their thing this weekend (and I know there are a lot of you): get after it.

Confession of a Horror Writer

Hey Brownies! Thought I forgot about this place, didn’t ya? Not a chance.

I love Netflix, man. Don’t you? If not, don’t fret. I’m a huge fan of the b-movie, the foreign produced show, and the independent flick… whether it’s horror or thriller or science fiction. These movies are, in my opinion, a lot more raw than mainstream movies. That’s not to say mainstream movies are all bad (but, let’s face it, they’re mostly shit).

As you know, Brownies, I prefer horror. I watch it, write it, read it, play it in my video games, dream about it at night, imagine it during the day… you get the picture.

But, here’s the confession…

I’m losing my taste for some of it. Okay, that’s a lie… and if this is a confession, I should be honest, yeah? It’s not some of it… well, it is some of it, but it’s a very specific some of it.

Last night, I watched an Australian movie called Killing Ground. To put it simply, a couple goes camping and is terrorized. Now, the movie’s description on Netflix leaves it up to your imagination as to how they’re terrorized. Here’s the description on the ‘flix

“An idyllic camping trip to an isolated beach turning into a harrowing ordeal after a young couple discovers an abandoned tent and a lost child.”

Vague description, right? I was hoping for a creature feature (such as Man vs) of some sort. Maybe even just some sort of animal attack movie (such as Backcountry). But no, instead the movie treated me to some pretty blunt human on human violence. There’s stalking, rape, murder, and other acts of violence. Some of this is shown, some of it is implied, some of it half-shown, half-implied.

Increasingly, I find myself not wanting to watch these movies where people are just psychopathic killers. In some cases, I just turn them off and don’t watch them. In others, I’ve hesitated to turn them on at all. Most recently those would be The Purge franchise. I know people laugh about it becoming a reality, but really? There’s a huge portion of our society here in the United States that can’t even give gay people basic human rights, so much so that gay and lesbian folks at murdered just for being them. Others want to strip women of their rights, and do we want to talk about the rise of the neo-Nazis and the sudden reemergence of the KKK in America? These hate groups, these murderers and fascists, are front and center and active and fucking supported, but the idea of a Purge is farcical?

Shit, son, if you don’t support gun ownership, you might want to rethink that position.

We get enough of this human depravity in real life, don’t we? The examples are everywhere: here, here, here, here, and fuck, even here. And those are just here on my home soil in the United States. World wide it’s even worse.

We are truly horrible to each other. When I was younger, I knew that of course, but I still held a measure of hope for people in general. As an avid reader and movie watcher, the stories I read, people always bonded together in the end to defeat evil and survive. They made sacrifices to ensure someone’s survival… their wife, their children, strangers, whatever.

While I certainly think there are those types of people out there, I don’t think nearly as many of us are truly that sacrificial. But more importantly, I don’t think good is as strong as evil. I don’t think there’s a balance anymore. Why don’t we hear about more people escaping death, more people actually thwarting their would-be murderers?

I’ll tell you why… because they don’t. The people die, and that’s what we hear about on the news. That well of hope I had as a kid is gone and it’s just hard to continue to watch this shit play out on screen.

I think, for awhile, I’m going to stick to monster movies, creature features, sci-fi invasions. and urban fantasy movies.