10 Life Lessons: “The Beastmaster” Edition

The Beastmaster is another underrated 80s classic, but only in the 80s could a movie like this even get made. Dar’s parents are murdered and he’s cut out of a fucking cow (which he was in after a witch cast a spell), he talks to beasts, and uses them to kill bad motherfuckers.

What is not cool about that?

Truly, though, the 80s were a hotbed of fantasy movies. Some certainly better than others, and while many people (myself included) are anxiously awaiting the first Warcraft movie, there will never be fantasy like we had when I was a kid. Don’t believe me? Just go watch Fire & Ice. Be a good kid now, and listen to The Beastmaster.

10) “You would do well to forget me, and follow the Juns. With them, you can die like a man.”

09) “Don’t move. The beast is fierce. But if we show no fear, we might escape.”

08) “Go practice your heathen religion in the outlands with the barbarian Juns!”

07) “Ah, but sir; all pilgrims share a deep love of life; especially their own!”


06) “I am a slave. What would you have me do?”

05) “You have powers unlike anyone in the village!”

04) “Stealing is best left to thieves.”


03) “Ar has spoken! He still wants your children!”

02) “Face the animal on his own terms. You will find you are not so very strong.”

01) “Life is a circle. I’m sure we’ll see each other again.”


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