Happy Thanksgiving, Brownies! (also, Happy Shopping Reminder Day)

Remember to be thankful for everything you do have, and not bitch about those things you’re missing. I’ve recently relearned that lesson, and I’m quite a bit happier for it. More productive, energetic, and my memory is improving (if you know me, this is a big thing for me). All in all, refocusing on those things we are thankful for–family, friends, careers, Xbox–and doing it every day is fucking awesome. Once you recover from your food comas, try it.

It’s also, apparently, Shopping Reminder Day, which I’m sure has everything to do with Black Friday and all the Thanksgiving pre-sale stuff. I know a lot of people out there are rabid and foam at the mouth when it comes to Thanksgiving and Black Friday shopping, and well, sorry that you feel that way. I’m not one of them, for many reasons, and more or less fully support all the sales and shopping that gets done. Now, don’t take that as an endorsement of treating retail workers like shit on these days. Quite the opposite… you should keep in mind what they’re sacrificing to be there for you to shop. In other words, DON’T BE A TWAT!

Enjoy your day, Brownies. Eat, drink, and be merry.

And if you’re into it, shop until your wallet burns.

If you’re not into it, don’t shop, but don’t bitch about those who do.

10 Life Lessons: “From Dusk Till Dawn” Edition

I remember going into the theatre to watch this when it came out. I knew very little about it, other than Tarantino was involved. It was a must see for me. The movie had lots of great dialogue, some action, and a killer action/crime story. I was digging it. And then, without warning other than a character actually going “What the fuck?” the vampire carnage started.

Many people dislike the dichotomy of “From Dusk Till Dawn,” but for me, it kinda represented a perfect imitation of life. You’re going on this path, thinking this is what’s gonna happen, and BAM! suddenly life throws you a giant fucking curve ball and says, “Hit that, motherfucker.” And either you do, or you die in some way.

10) “Does anybody know what’s going on here?”

09) “Everybody, be cool. You, be cool.”

08) “Yeah, those acts of God really stick it in and break it off, don’t they?”

07) “Richie, would you do me a favor and eat my pussy for me. Please?”


06) “I may be a bastard, but I’m not a fucking bastard.”

05) “Well, it’s been one long goddamn hot miserable shit ass fucking day every inch of the way.”


04) “Well, that is a matter of opinion, and I do not give a fuck about yours.”

03) “Your best better get a hell of a lot fucking better or you are going to feel a hell of a lot fucking worse.”

02) “Fight now, cry later.”

01) “Momma’s got nothing to say. She’s dead.”